From The Catholic Exchange
Spring is hear. We hear the birds chirping, feel the temperature rising, and see the flowers budding. Another thing that comes with Spring is the yearly time of cleaning and organizing one’s house that is often referred to as “spring cleaning.” Spring cleaning is all about getting rid of the stuff that clutters our houses and the dust and grim that has accumulated over the long days of winter. It can be safely assumed that the majority of people spring clean to make their home somewhere that they can feel good about– a space that is neat, organized and clean. In other words, a home that one can be proud of. If this concept of “spring cleaning” can be applied to our homes, why can’t it be applied to our marriages? After all, pretty much all couples, deep down, want a marriage that is good, strong and healthy– a marriage that they can feel proud of. So, this Spring, why not take some time to spring clean your marriage.
This can start by looking at the characteristics you might want in your marriage, which will help you discover what traits would be best to let go of. St. Paul provides an awesome reflection that might help. “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Let’s look at some practical things you can do to spring clean your marriage:
Abandon Selfishness
One important point mentioned in 1 Corinthians is that “love does not insist on its own way”. In other words, in a marriage that is truly based on love, selfishness cannot exist. How easy it is to get wrapped up in one’s own way and to forget about what is best for the other and for the whole family. One practical way to abandon pride is to go out of your way to show your spouse that you care. Do something that is unexpected, something that shows your spouse that they are important to you. For example, if your wife is the one who usually does the laundry, why not wake up early to start a few loads? When your husband gets home from work, put aside what you are doing and run to the door to greet him with a huge hug.
Let Go of Jealousy and Resentment
Also mentioned by St. Paul, is the fact that love is not jealous. In order for a marriage to truly thrive, a couple must be rooted in mutual trust and admiration. Regardless of what has happened in the past, or what your spouse has done, for the sake of your marriage, resentment must be put aside, and in its place, forgiveness can take hold. This forgiveness will bring about a renewed love, one that you never thought possible before.
Throw Out Rudeness
Think about your interaction with your spouse over the last few days. Was there a time where you treated him or her not with love, but with rudeness or anger? It is amazing how easy it is to treat one’s spouse in a way that we would not even treat a complete stranger. Yet, this is the person that we promised to love and honor all the days of our life. As you spring clean, go out of your way to say affirming things to your spouse such as “thank you” and “I love you.” Over communicate these two phrases and it will make a big difference in your marriage.
As you spring clean your marriage and make a conscious effort to dispose of the things that are getting in your way, remember that love is a process. It is something that must be developed and strengthened over time. The important thing is that you keep working at it, by getting rid of one mess at a time.
This can start by looking at the characteristics you might want in your marriage, which will help you discover what traits would be best to let go of. St. Paul provides an awesome reflection that might help. “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Let’s look at some practical things you can do to spring clean your marriage:
Abandon Selfishness
One important point mentioned in 1 Corinthians is that “love does not insist on its own way”. In other words, in a marriage that is truly based on love, selfishness cannot exist. How easy it is to get wrapped up in one’s own way and to forget about what is best for the other and for the whole family. One practical way to abandon pride is to go out of your way to show your spouse that you care. Do something that is unexpected, something that shows your spouse that they are important to you. For example, if your wife is the one who usually does the laundry, why not wake up early to start a few loads? When your husband gets home from work, put aside what you are doing and run to the door to greet him with a huge hug.
Let Go of Jealousy and Resentment
Also mentioned by St. Paul, is the fact that love is not jealous. In order for a marriage to truly thrive, a couple must be rooted in mutual trust and admiration. Regardless of what has happened in the past, or what your spouse has done, for the sake of your marriage, resentment must be put aside, and in its place, forgiveness can take hold. This forgiveness will bring about a renewed love, one that you never thought possible before.
Throw Out Rudeness
Think about your interaction with your spouse over the last few days. Was there a time where you treated him or her not with love, but with rudeness or anger? It is amazing how easy it is to treat one’s spouse in a way that we would not even treat a complete stranger. Yet, this is the person that we promised to love and honor all the days of our life. As you spring clean, go out of your way to say affirming things to your spouse such as “thank you” and “I love you.” Over communicate these two phrases and it will make a big difference in your marriage.
As you spring clean your marriage and make a conscious effort to dispose of the things that are getting in your way, remember that love is a process. It is something that must be developed and strengthened over time. The important thing is that you keep working at it, by getting rid of one mess at a time.
This article originally appeared in the March edition of The Family Encourager; a free monthly e-newsletter developed by the Christian Center for Youth and Family Health. To begin receiving The Family Encourager, please go to http://www.ccyfh.org/newsletter-sign-up.html and join our email list.
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