~ Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.
~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
~ You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.
~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
~ The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
~ The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.
~ Your "Old Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist.
~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.
~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.
~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
~ You have five TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.
~ That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.
~ Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your waterbed.
~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
~ You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.
~ It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas.
~ Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard and delete this.
~ A guest quotes the Biblical passage from the feeding of the 5,000.
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Johnny wrote, "I'm thankful that I'm not a turkey."
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