Friday, April 1, 2011

In his own words: 67 year old seminarian, Jack Sidler

Jack Sidler, Sacred Heart of Mary Church, Barling

Studying at Sacred Heart School of Theology, Hales Corners, Wis.

From The Diocese of Little Rock, Arkansas

Why would a 66-year-old father, grandfather, retired person and widower want to go seminary and become a diocesan priest for the Dioceses of Little Rock? This is the question that I kept having in my mind as I felt the call to priesthood swelling up in soul.

Then one day I saw a plaque with the following quote from C.S. Lewis on it: “You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” I then knew I had to pursue the vocation of a priest.

As a teenager I felt I was called to be a Presbyterian minister, but received no encouragement from my family or church leaders. So I decided that was not where I was to go. During this period I began to informally study other faith denominations, the basis for their beliefs, where they were formed, by whom and their core values.

The one faith group I was drawn to was Roman Catholics. After several years of drifting in my faith I met the person who I would spend the next 46 years with. She was a cradle Catholic and attended Mass on a regular basis. I asked one day, “How does one becomes a Catholic?” The answer, at that time, was instructions with a priest. So I arranged an appointment with Father Maurus Gerke, OSB.

I remember asking Father, “How long do these instructions take?” His answer was, “Oh, about three months.” Well nine months later on May 1, 1964, I was accepted into the Catholic Church. On June 6, 1964, Dee and I were married by Father Maurus at St. Meinrad Church in Prairie View. Seeing how deeply my mother-in-law loved her Church and family, was the example I saw in Dee. I knew I was home.

Ours was a good marriage, and we grew and matured in our faith and after 40 years of marriage started planning for retirement. But in 1995 Dee was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer, and our life suddenly took a significant turn. Over the next three years our faith grew by leaps and bounds as God poured his grace on us to weather this storm. On Nov. 15, 2008, our Dee died a most peaceful death; her love for God had grown stronger each and everyday.

Several months after her death I attended a silent-directed retreat, a few months later, a Beginning Experience retreat and then several months after that, entered a seven month-long retreat in daily life. I knew I was searching but really did not know for what. I was trying to find that “it.”

Then one day at Mass the thought, idea, call came to me with such clarity — I wanted to be on the other side of the altar. I knew I wanted to be a priest in the Roman Catholic Church. I had found what I was trying to find; “it” now had a name.

I continued to pray and spoke with no one about it. Finally I e-mailed Msgr. Scott Friend and asked, “Is it possible for an older person to become a priest?” His answer was maybe and has since turned into yes. I continued to pray and work with my spiritual director. Each day it seemed a new affirmation was sent my way by God.

Without the life experiences I have had, would I have had the call or recognized it when it came? I do not know. My call to priesthood is entwined with my marriage, having and raising our children, their marriages and having grandchildren as well as Dee’s death.

Liken to a DNA helix — you do not get one without the other. Through the lessons of life, God has taught me the lessons of discernment and the recognition of his unbounded love for us. I now know God desires me to serve him and my Church as a priest. I entered seminary on Jan. 13, 2011 (two days after my 67th birthday.) When you are on God’s time it is never too late (or early.)

My desire to serve our God and our Church as a priest has become stronger and although I am nervous, I am not unsure of my call. I feel honored and humble that I may spend the remainder of my life serving my God and faith community as their priest.

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