Mother Teresa’s Humility List

by Katie Sciba

I’m sentimental. My appreciation for nostalgia is a balanced one now, but when I was a kid I kept everything because of sentimental value. Between old homework assignments and feathers from the backyard, my room was a mess of clutter and I was proud of everything I had that attracted dust. In one of several drawers overflowing with “memories,” was a photo album stuffed with my collection of holy cards for every occasion, most of which didn’t apply to an 8 year old – marriage, death of a child, ordination, lost causes. Sifting through my album when packing up for college, I came upon a yellowed scrap of paper with typewriter font with a litany entitled “Mother Teresa’s Humility List.”  Since then each time I read it is like choking down humble pie; and, it always leaves me starving for Christ, yearning to imitate Him.

Mother Teresa’s Humility List

1. Speak as little as possible about yourself.
2. Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
3. Avoid curiosity.
4. Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
5. Accept small irritations with good humor.
6. Do not dwell on the faults of others.
7. Accept censures even if unmerited.
8. Give in to the will of others.
9. Accept insults and injuries.
10. Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
11. Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
12. Do not seek to be admired and loved.
13. Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
14. Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
15. Choose always the more difficult task.

What a challenge! The more I considered this list, the more questions I had. How do I avoid feeling hurt if the opportunity to practice #10 (accepting contempt, disregard) comes up?  How do I apply #7 (accepting censures) or #14 (giving in even when right) without becoming a door mat, letting people walk all over me? In order to practice humility devoutly, a person has to maintain that his dignity lies in God alone. Why would I seek to be admired and loved by others if I need only to be loved by God? – and I already am!

When I gave the list to my spiritual director, he suggested that I rewrite it; not to correct Mother Teresa by any means, but to interpret the list to more specifically suit my vocation as married laity. Within the next week, I’ll submit 2 more posts covering my reflections.

Pride is a horse pill - hard to swallow. I’m so eager to work on this and develop my understanding of not only this list, but of humility on a grander scale. What are the best ways to practice humility as a wife and mother? As a friend? Sizing up the items on my scrap piece of paper makes me feel small and I can’t help but shake my head at my own soul and behavior. Bottoms up!

I hope I get to Heaven. I especially hope that my vocation in marriage ultimately furthers my endeavors by way of my husband drawing me closer to Christ and holiness (so far, so good!). I married Andrew because of who he is and because I wanted to contribute to his own holiness and happiness; not solely because of what he could do for me (though I knew he could help me become a better person). The purpose of life is service to God through one’s vocation and mine specifically includes serving Him through being a good wife and nurturing mother. I’ve noticed that I am most miserable when I focus on myself above my husband and kids. When I choose to fix my thoughts on just me, serve only myself, fret over what I want, I’m a poor, miserable soul and I find myself doing damage control from my selfishness.  It’s also good to treat myself to doing activities that I enjoy because these refreshments add a spark to my day and a bounce in my step, making me a more pleasant addition to our family. This being said, I have addressed each item of Mother Teresa’s steps toward humility in light of being lay, being a wife, and being a mother.  I don’t consider my thoughts to be at all exhaustive:

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