Mother Teresa’s Humility List

by Katie Sciba

I’m sentimental. My appreciation for nostalgia is a balanced one now, but when I was a kid I kept everything because of sentimental value. Between old homework assignments and feathers from the backyard, my room was a mess of clutter and I was proud of everything I had that attracted dust. In one of several drawers overflowing with “memories,” was a photo album stuffed with my collection of holy cards for every occasion, most of which didn’t apply to an 8 year old – marriage, death of a child, ordination, lost causes. Sifting through my album when packing up for college, I came upon a yellowed scrap of paper with typewriter font with a litany entitled “Mother Teresa’s Humility List.”  Since then each time I read it is like choking down humble pie; and, it always leaves me starving for Christ, yearning to imitate Him.

Mother Teresa’s Humility List

1. Speak as little as possible about yourself.
2. Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
3. Avoid curiosity.
4. Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
5. Accept small irritations with good humor.
6. Do not dwell on the faults of others.
7. Accept censures even if unmerited.
8. Give in to the will of others.
9. Accept insults and injuries.
10. Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
11. Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
12. Do not seek to be admired and loved.
13. Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
14. Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
15. Choose always the more difficult task.

What a challenge! The more I considered this list, the more questions I had. How do I avoid feeling hurt if the opportunity to practice #10 (accepting contempt, disregard) comes up?  How do I apply #7 (accepting censures) or #14 (giving in even when right) without becoming a door mat, letting people walk all over me? In order to practice humility devoutly, a person has to maintain that his dignity lies in God alone. Why would I seek to be admired and loved by others if I need only to be loved by God? – and I already am!

When I gave the list to my spiritual director, he suggested that I rewrite it; not to correct Mother Teresa by any means, but to interpret the list to more specifically suit my vocation as married laity. Within the next week, I’ll submit 2 more posts covering my reflections.

Pride is a horse pill - hard to swallow. I’m so eager to work on this and develop my understanding of not only this list, but of humility on a grander scale. What are the best ways to practice humility as a wife and mother? As a friend? Sizing up the items on my scrap piece of paper makes me feel small and I can’t help but shake my head at my own soul and behavior. Bottoms up!

I hope I get to Heaven. I especially hope that my vocation in marriage ultimately furthers my endeavors by way of my husband drawing me closer to Christ and holiness (so far, so good!). I married Andrew because of who he is and because I wanted to contribute to his own holiness and happiness; not solely because of what he could do for me (though I knew he could help me become a better person). The purpose of life is service to God through one’s vocation and mine specifically includes serving Him through being a good wife and nurturing mother. I’ve noticed that I am most miserable when I focus on myself above my husband and kids. When I choose to fix my thoughts on just me, serve only myself, fret over what I want, I’m a poor, miserable soul and I find myself doing damage control from my selfishness.  It’s also good to treat myself to doing activities that I enjoy because these refreshments add a spark to my day and a bounce in my step, making me a more pleasant addition to our family. This being said, I have addressed each item of Mother Teresa’s steps toward humility in light of being lay, being a wife, and being a mother.  I don’t consider my thoughts to be at all exhaustive:

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Fame: "One cannot be too careful not to think of it"

In light of the breaking news dominating the Catholic blogosphere re Fr. Corapi, I like to quote one of my favorite lines from C. S. Lewis (as reported by Walter Hooper):

" . . . I asked Lewis if he was ever aware of the fact that regardless of his intentions he was "winning worship" from his books. He said in a low, still voice, and with the deepest and most complete humility I've ever observed in anyone,

"One cannot be too careful not to think of it."

I'm no media personality but even in my little corner of the traveling world, I have found Lewis' phrase extraordinarily helpful and have repeated it to myself dozens of times on the road.

n/t Sherry at sienna.org

Saint. Josemaria Escriva: 17 Evidences of a Lack of Humility

A friend posted this on his blog. It seems too good not to share...

1. To think that what one says or does is better than what others say or do

2. To always to want to get your own way

3. To argue with stubbornness and bad manners whether you are right or wrong

4. To give your opinion when it has not been requested or when charity does not demand it

5. To look down on another's point of view

6. Not to look on your gifts and abilities as lent

7. Not to recognize that you are unworthy of all honors and esteem, not even of the earth you walk on and things you possess

8. To use yourself as an example in conversations

9. To speak badly of yourself so that others will think well of you or contradict you

10. To excuse yourself when you are corrected

11. To hide humiliating faults from your spiritual director, so that he will not change the impression he has of you

12. To take pleasure in praise and compliments

13. To be saddened because others are held in higher esteem

14. To refuse to perform inferior tasks

15. To seek to stand out

16. To refer in conversation to your honesty, genius, dexterity, or professional prestige

17. To be ashamed because you lack certain goods

The Nativity is a lesson in humility

from Catholic Womanhood by Michelle Bauman

Throughout the Christmas Season, we tend to focus on humility more than at other times of the year. We turn our attention to the humility of the Christ child, who chose to be born in a stable in Bethlehem. The God of the universe was born amid smells of barnyard animals and laid to rest in a manger – a simple feeding trough. Reflecting on the Nativity scene, we may resolve to imitate this humility in our own lives. As soon as the Christmas Season passes, however, we are faced with the cares and challenges of day-to-day life that remind us how difficult it is to be truly humble.

Humility involves recognizing God as the source of goodness in our lives. How often do we thank God for the many wonderful gifts that we have been given? Oftentimes, we are tempted to take these blessings for granted, or to think that we are solely responsible for our successes in life. While it is true that we can do our part by using our talents wisely, we should remember that God is the one who gave us those talents. Scripture reminds us, “Unless the LORD build the house, they labor in vain who build.” (Psalm 127:1) Our dedication and hard work would be nothing without God, and we should remember to give Him credit.

To be humble, we must have a proper understanding of our relationship to God. We are finite, limited and weak. God is infinite, unlimited and all-powerful. Put simply, God is the Creator and we are the creatures. When we forget this relationship, we fall into pride. We forget how reliant we are upon God’s grace and love. Our achievements are a reflection of God’s glory. We owe honor to Him for our successes because it is He who gave us our gifts and talents and guides us in the proper use of them.

The Divine Infant teaches us humility. But there is another key figure in the Nativity who also offers us an example of what it means to be humble. The “yes” of the Blessed Virgin Mary at the Annunciation paved the path to the Nativity. Mary is a powerful witness of the virtue of humility. She was chosen from among all women who have ever lived to bear the Savior of the world. She alone was preserved from original sin, from the very moment of her conception. She was picked as the new Eve who would accept God rather than reject Him. Mary’s role as the Mother of God is clearly one of great honor.

Yet when her cousin Elizabeth praised her faith, Mary responded with a psalm of praise to God: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked upon his handmaid's lowliness; behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed. The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.” (Luke 1:46-49) Mary acknowledged that she would be forever honored for her special role and her willingness to be Christ’s mother. Yet she was not prideful. Rather, she humbly gave thanks to God, giving Him the praise while reinforcing her own role and a lowly handmaid.

We should join Mary in praising God. We should realize that our strength and hope lie in Him. We are weak and powerless without Him, but we can do all things through Him. When we adopt this honest perspective, our lives are freed from the burden of pride. We need not become bogged down by things that are insignificant in the big picture of our lives. We need not feel as though we bear the burden of doing everything on our own. Rather, we can allow God to take control, trusting in His all-powerful wisdom and love.

As we enter the New Year, let us turn to Christ and Mary as our examples of humility. Let us strive to imitate this humility that will give us the freedom to trust our lives to the guidance of God.